locker room talk

              Locker room talk is a type of conversation between peers of the same gender and mindset, in which all kinds of inappropriate comments about women are made, which is unacceptable, be it privately or in the open. It is basically a group of like-minded people with no morals, defaming women, staining their dignity and leaving them scarred for life. Often, pictures of underage girls are shared, which is child pornography, which makes it even worse because then, it’s not only ethically flawed, but also legally. 

          Now, I understand that these comments are not just made towards women at all times, and men and the people of the LGBTQ community go through this, too, but for the sake of this conversation, I will only focus on the heterosexual stereotype of sexual harassment, verbally and physically, against women.

         The main issue here is not the upbringing of these individuals, but the mindset that they develop, to fit into social standards which promote the act of bringing someone else down, completely stripping off their dignity, to feel accepted and what some might term as 

“cool”. But contradictory to their belief, this is not cool. This is an act of inhumanity and brutality against women, for their own enjoyment. This is not going to get anyone the social stratification that they desire so badly. Social stratification is achieved through acts of kindness and basic respect towards others. More importantly, the individuals involved in such heinous activities do not think twice before they make such comments, and giving them the benefit of the doubt, I will further say that I believe that these thoughts are fed to them, making them nothing but inhumane, having no thoughts and values of their own. 

       This is where I will bring in social stratification once again. In a group of, say, ten teenage boys who indulge in such activities, there is a slight chance that there is at least one boy who knows that what they’re doing is not acceptable, but will neither speak his mind, nor excuse himself from the activity, just for the sake of feeling validated. The afore mentioned group of teenagers might consider this as being masculine, and shame those who contradict their idea of the same, and go on to call them not “manly”. But this is not masculinity. Masculinity lies in humane acts, viz., respecting one another. This is toxic masculinity, which spreads due to lack of values, faith and education. Furthermore, I will say that we, as a society, need to encourage young boys around us, to learn basic values and to converse around and about their peers in an ethically approved manner.

       We, as a society, are at fault, too. We let men get away with such things, just by saying, “men will be men”. Well, this is not how real men are. This is not how God created them. As mentioned earlier, these thoughts are fed into their system, to climb the social ladder, vis-à-vis, to look “cool”. This is not an act of humanity, this is an act of contempt, and anyone guilty of this brings shame to all of humankind. I believe that we, as a society can do better, and break the common ideas that our society has created, and turn them into ones that are not toxic. It’s high time we bring each other up, helping each other to be what is expected of us.

          On the receiving end of this, us women are not surprised anymore, and we expect nothing good to come out of it, because of how normalised these conversations are. Without a shred of doubt, I can say that every woman goes through verbal and/or physical sexual harassment at least once in her lifetime. So many of such incidents are not brought into light, because of the process that comes after. Legal authorities often jump to conclusions and accuse the victim of false accusation, just because she is in contact with many boys, or takes pictures that would “encourage” men to view her in a certain way. Afraid of this, many women do not speak up, just for the sake of not going through another trauma, which will scar them forever. We also wish not to talk about it just because we do not want to recall those nasty memories again, or we are afraid that our opportunities, career-wise, education-wise, etc., might be affected due to such incidents. Speaking of revealing personal traumas, I would like to add that it is completely okay to choose to not do it, for whatsoever reason the individual may have. But at the same time, exposing the offenders will do good in the sense that men will realise that we do not belong to an oppressed gender anymore, and that we will speak up for ourselves.

         What also needs to be understood is that this is not some kind of feminist propaganda.

In simple words, sexual harassment is not just a women’s issue, it is an issue of humanity. Gender equality should not be brought into the picture here, because it is absolutely irrelevant. Every individual should have basic decency, be it someone who is cissexual, transgender or queer. Anyone who speaks up against sexual harassment towards herself is not necessarily a feminist, but is just a person requesting to be treated in a morally exemplary manner.

         We are all humans, with emotions deep down that need to be emoted. Scandalous tragedies like this are capable to completely bring down one’s self esteem and leave them scarred for life. These scars never fade away. It will always be a petrifying memory that they were once so emotionally and physically vulnerable to another individual, without their consent. Our own minds are enough to kill us. We need to reshape the minds of the youth, the future of the world, to make it a better place for ourselves, and for everyone around us. 

            In conclusion, I urge every individual to speak up against such activities, and have a little faith that everything will be alright someday. We need a more liberal government, and we, as the citizens, have the power to make it possible. We need to educate. We need to rebuild. We need to grow into better versions of ourselves and learn to speak up for what we believe in, for the sake of a better and safer tomorrow.